They say you should write about what you know....well, what happens when you just don't know anymore. I'm finding myself in that very predicament.
It is true life does go on....but for me, different parts have gone and others haven't. It's strange--sometimes you make huge strides....other times baby steps...and, even other times, you find yourself going backward. I certainly have gotten back into the normal life routine of going to work, coming home, taking care of the pets, and even taking out the garbage--which, ten months later, I still hate....but then there are other parts, moving into other relationships or cementing myself at an address that I still struggle with. Currently, I am feeling a bit stuck....I'm still searching for that epiphany that comes and then you quickly realize everything is going to be warm and fuzzy again. This is the hard part, friends....it doesn't exist. I have to work every day to get through all the feelings and emotions and normal routine that I can't avoid. It is hard work and that's as honest as it gets. Sure, there are always easier days but you work for them and lately, I work just to keep my head above water.
I've been wondering a lot lately how we treat people....what happened to "treat others as you'd like to be treated" That was one of my grandma's favorite lines--and truly, if she was here to tell them-it certainly might change things. I've been around people lately who are hurting each other in their marriages, relationships, friendships, family bonds, and even strangers who are only trying to help....and yet, we sit, treating others without compassion or respect or the same love we demand from others. I just don't understand. When Chris died I was truly blessed with more love and compassion than I ever anticipated at a time like that....and it taught me a lot about how to treat people. It doesn't mean I'll turn the other cheek at avoiding an argument or that I still don't believe in actions and that words are important...and believe me--I know people make mistakes, myself included, but what happened to having enough love to save someone from more hurt than was ever necessary. Like I said, I don't understand....maybe that's just a small part of the many lessons I'm trying to learn from.
Something I have learned from working with all kinds of people is that you never know the burden one is carrying....I recently ran into an old patient of mine that I hadn't seen before I got married. She excitedly greeted me saying, "Congratulations is in order!" and when I asked her why she said, "Well, you got married since I last saw you" and I certainly had but she had no idea I had also become a widow since she last saw me as well....and I walked away, not telling her that part....but it stung...and reminded me that what you say to others matters....always. It doesn't matter if you're a Christian, Atheist, or otherwise....it's about being a kind person. It's easy to take things out on other people...and believe me, people tell me all the time that they would understand if i did.....but at what cost? Only God truly knows this pain.
We each have our own story....and, in writing this, maybe I do know something--I know that it is important to acknowledge that story in ourselves and in others who we may or may not know. I am challenging myself, and perhaps you will as well, to treat people better.....it will only pay back in more love....so I think it's worth all the time I can give. Love is a beautiful thing.
No comments :
Post a Comment