.Army.

An army. That's how many people it takes you get you through this kind of loss. The army comes equipped with love, prayers, kindness, comfort, laughter, tears, sometimes food, and always time. It's a beautiful sight...this army--coming together or in seperate pieces, to remind you that you're going to make it and to kick you in the ass when you really need to stop watching PS I love you over and over. Yep...the army protects you from the people you thought you could trust but knew better and the army brings you pieces of the world you had forgotten about....little league baseball scores, newspaper articles, funny stories about that girl you don't get along with, their love life reports, and various other things that distract you long enough to get out of the pajamas you've been in for the last 4 days.

It's true, most of them don't wear camoflauge but that doesn't matter....they are all different kinds of people, coming from different places in their lives, just to try to help you find your life again. They take you to lunch at the same spot once or twice a month and always check in when they can. They come to your house for sleepovers and hold you when you cry. They sleep on your couch and your floor for days....they clean your house....they hold your hand through the worst of it and, as much as you want to, you can never repay them for the selfless acts of being the strong ones so you could fall apart. They live states away but they feel so close. They answer the phone at midnight. They listen. They hold you. They cry with you. They laugh with you. They travel with you. They do all the things with you that you hate doing as just one. They remind you to just keep swimming, put one foot in front of the other, and keep your chin up.

As in any other army, sometimes people go missing and leave without warning....and some stay just through the rough spots and then you see or hear from them every once in a while....and others come in and stay a while but often in the background. Either way....your army is ever changing except for the nucleus of those who you can always count on....and they stick around even after a month or six months or a year....and they get you, there is no need to explain anything. they just know....and believe me, most of the time they know you better than you give them credit....and they make you laugh so hard you cry. Yep...my army is one of the best and believe me-it takes a while to build a strong one but you get what you give. Sometimes you give too much and you learn quickly who your friends are....and other times you get back everything you've put in....those are the times when you know you've got the right people in your corner because they'll fight as hard for you as they do for themselves. It's a beautiful feeling when that happens.

I've learned it's okay to call on your army whenever you need them and not to feel bad about it-if they are true soldiers, they'll always answer, always give, and never need more than a simple "thank you" for their time and service.