since letting love go almost two weeks ago, i feel such a gigantic weight lifted off my heart. it's the loss of expectation i think. it's not wondering if every new patient that walks into the clinic is single with decent health insurance. it's not reading into friendships and truly just taking it for what it is. it's also deciding that i'm enough on my own and that my company is valuable and my time is precious. it's amazing what a difference the mind frame switch is....it's more amazing how much less i worry or care about it.
someone told me it is as if i've given up all hope...and i haven't. i've just decided that, for me, letting go is a lot easier than holding on like a vice grip. i would spend days and hours thinking about it....wondering where or when it would fit into my life and not trusting God or His plan. It's not like I don't or haven't believed He isn't finished with me yet....but I do believe I lost sight of it....I think I got so caught up in timing and making sure I was at the right place at the right time that I spent my entire heart betting on it and slowly broke my heart one piece at a time....and that can't happen anymore.
i've got to save myself, too....and to do that i've got to love myself..and that's where I'm at. so it's not a ton of progress but the weight off my shoulders is enough to feel like it might be enough for now.
that's the beautiful thing about letting go...you make room for the good stuff.....
and right now, i'm content making room.
No comments :
Post a Comment