truth.

so. i should be editing.
or doing something productive.
instead, i'm trying to talk myself into editing and doing something productive.
obviously, i've ended up here.

this week kind of took the wind out of my sails.
i'm lacking any kind of real routine.....i'm finding myself exhausted at the end of this week and it's all fueled from emotions.
and while i should be editing....i'm not sure if editing is what i need. mostly because i have my puppy staring at me waiting for cuddles and if my heart isn't in it today, it's probably not going to be in it tonight so, with many things, forcing it isn't the best choice in my honest opinion....and if it were anyone else, i would say the same thing.

it is entirely true that the only one who knows your heart is yourself. and you can talk the shit out of it....orrrrr you could just live your truth which is what i'm trying to do.

but sometimes we get lost in all of the words. all the things we are trying to say or the many ways we are trying to ease people's hearts....and then, we just get lost in translation.

it's crazy, isn't it?? the ways we are wired....the things we cling to and the things we let go of....
life is harder than it looks. in fact, it'll bring you to your knees in so many ways that you never expected. on the flip side, it'll change you if you let it....it'll make you better if you embrace it....and it'll teach you a thing or two about gratitude.

i wear my heart on the outside. it means i'm easy to read and easily hurt. it also means that i give, invest, and love with my entire self. i'm always all in and there's never any doubt about where my heart is....but it's hard. really hard. and i'm fully aware that it isn't the most efficient way to go through life.

but it's who i am. and i can't change me.
because i like me.

she's funny. and smart. and she cares about people and things. and you can't find that just anywhere.

so i'm going to spend tonight thankful for her....for her voice, her heart, and the many ways she has found herself in the last few months. i'm pretty thankful i know her....i'm even more thankful i am her.