enormous.

how do you get through it?
i am endlessly grateful.

that's the truest thing i've said lately in a beautifully deep and unexpected conversation. when people don't know me that well and then they start learning about who i am, what makes me tick and all the balls i have in the air at once, they just look at me blankly. if i'm being completely honest, sometimes i look at myself that way, too.

but i am so ridiculously thankful.

people ask me ALLLLL the time how i did it....and how i DO it....and i just tell them how blessed i am. i could count my losses all day long....so could you. but i won't. because, at the end of the day, i want to look at the many ways God has given and not the ways He has taken.

 i could have it so much worse.

i know everyone says that....but you forget it until you're staring at someone else's worse and suddenly you become so thankful for the many ways it could be worse in your own space but isn't.

honestly, i remember quite vividly my own "it-could-be-worse." sometimes, i remember it just like yesterday...so i take stock in what i've got.

it's why i tell people how i feel. and i am thankful for those who tell me.
one of my very best friends tells me every night that she loves me. it's one of the most comforting and beautiful moments of my day. we both know loss too well.....so we know no one is guaranteed a single thing and she makes it a priority to check in continually, make sure i'm alright, plan adventures, and tell me she loves me every day.

i have great people in my life. my parents. my broski. my friends. my work family. my clients. my entire world is full of people who have stepped up for me at one point or another and they fill this heart of mine. i am emotionally fueled by people....all the money and things in the world won't change that i wear my heart on the outside and crave quality relationships in my life, starting with the one i have with myself.

so, while i spent this saturday evening at home nursing this headache, editing, and loving on my pooches, i remembered the unexpected conversation from yesterday morning and reflected on just how true it is for me.

and, while 2014 is still very new, i am loving that i'm living through it thus far and not just getting through it. there is a distinct difference.....and maybe not in the way i spend my days but the way i feel at the end of them that is different....the fullness that is in my heart is something i cannot fully express in words and what a gift that is.

so.enormously.blessed.

xoxo.