I attended my 10 year high school reunion last night and I'm left with so many mixed feelings. I think I have figured out why people don't attend these things. Some things never change. I found myself still nervous to approach the "popular kids" table and still sitting with the people who were on the outside of that very-popular-kid-clique. Who wants to be reminded of their status in high school?? Especially when you're approaching 30.....nobody.
It's funny because I now surround myself with people who find me to be fantastic, funny, wonderful, and brilliant.....and I certainly don't feel like I haven't done anything with my life in ten years....by no means am I disappointed or ashamed of who I am or where I've come.....but i sure felt like I didn't fit in yesterday. Granted, there were the few staple people where I'd always felt myself at home....but then it seems odd to me that in a class of 54 people and 10 years later, I again felt like that awkward sophomore who just couldn't find her place.
It amazes me at how much I left behind when I left that place and that town. The same very-popular-kid-clique proved to stick with what they knew and stuck pretty close to home....and I realized, as I say with my people on the unpopular group, I found that we had spread our wings the most. We've taken chances and tried to be better. We left and didn't think twice about it. For that alone, I'd rather be sitting at the unpopular kid table any day.
I am still feeling rather uncool this morning and hating the reminder of who I was once but I am comforted at the life I've built for myself now. There is not a single person in my life who does not add to it positively....and I don't compete in popularity contests. I am thankful for that...and for the fact that I've learned to love myself and truly appreciate the people in my life who don't make me feel like that awkward sophomore because while I am by no means "cool" I have a good heart, and I'd rather be judged for that than my clothes.
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