Cement

I'm in Milwaukee this morning for a Medicare conference....(aside from taking photos, I work for a fantastic chiropractor) and during the 95 minute drive....amidst being stuck in traffic, I have had plenty of time to think. Mostly about friendship. And time.

I've been realizing lately how conditional friendship has become. When it's convenient or when you really need someone and you reach out. When did it become that...when did we stop valuing friendship in the way that we once did. Was it when we got a new boyfriend or when time seemed to run away with us. At what point did we begin to justify our distance and at what point do we decide who gets our unconditional love. I've been struggling with that thought as I've struggled with conditional friends lately. I'm still unsure of what the answer to that is.

I know that I'm busy and life is busy but it seems easier to use that as an excuse than ever before. I also know that the people I thought would be here....even in my mundane moments...aren't and that's  disappointing to say the least.

I feel like there's a fear that exists in friendship that doesn't exist in your relationships with your families or partners....we are so scared to share what bothers us or vocalize the things that have hurt us because we don't want to change the dynamic but we don't realize it's already changed. When your bridge starts burning, the only way to put out the fire is to talk about it or you risk the entire thing going up in flames. I've bravely talked things out and I've foolishly watched some relationships go up in flames. Some of those were necessary....others were sad losses.....but either way, I'm here now....trying to find the best way to strengthen and grow the ones that matter.

Life is hard on your own. Friendship is a cement that kind of fills in the cracks between your family, your professional life, and the many other commitments you've made. You can certainly get by without it but the cement is what strengthens those other things....because it fills your soul...and there is nothing in the world that comes close to having a good or best friend. Nothing even close.

We all need a person or persons.....you know, like Meredith Grey and Christina. We all need someone who would drag a dead body with us across the floor. We all want that kind of unconditional. That's what I know for sure.

And, for the ride home, I'm going to focus on my persons and my best friends....because I am thankful for their cement.....and I'm thankful for their unconditional friendship......which is rare these days.

So if you're feeling like a conditional friend, I hope you consider who would drag a body with you and if you can't think of anyone, I hope you find out whether or not you need the cement.....that seems like a good place to start.