doing it all.

sometimes it feels like being human has a price.
maybe you're too afraid to say what you really feel. maybe you're too afraid to be rejected. maybe you're not good at expressing yourself. maybe you don't know how to pick yourself back up once you've fallen. maybe you just feel like you're not who you want to be at the moment. maybe there's a hundred thousand battles you're fighting and you can't find your words.
but some days all of that gets the best of you.
and here you are, trying to find your words....trying to find your smile....and trying to make it....

so yes, being human has a price.
being you is hard some days.
and, in case you were wondering, that "you" is actually me today.

i'm feeling less than awesome lately. i suppose it comes and goes in waves...and i suppose that everyone feels like that at some point.

i think, as women, we feel so much pressure to do it all that we forget that it all is too much for just one person. God didn't make us to do everything. He made us to do some things and to lean on other people. It's a giant puzzle to find your team mates....your best friends and your person.....but we aren't meant to do it alone. we're meant to love big....and not worry so much about all of the other fillers that make us question all we are doing with our lives.

i wish i believed that pep talk or that giving it to myself made any ounce of better. today i'm just tired and it's been a long day and, honestly, i'm beat. i'm also a bit sick of having to do it all so instead of editing, i'm blogging and hoping i can justify that when i wake up in the morning.

sometimes we all need a break.

and some days i'd like to take a sick day just for the hell of it.

but that's not who i am. and i don't know how to not feel guilty doing that so here i am, doing it all and praying that it doesn't take over me soon.

because i'm tired.

and i'm reminding myself that i'm no good to anyone if i'm not good to myself.

so i'm going to go to bed. and not feel bad. and i'm going to wake up tomorrow and try again......because, if nothing else, it is a new day....and there is always room to try again.

good night, friends.