one life.

you know how you have moments where you have to wonder what God is putting together up there. since i sent my letter, my signs have been considerably less.....until this week when i began to plan a trip to london. in the last 3 days, since contacting an agency and looking at dates, they have now gotten person specific and not just scotland. and i'm trying so hard to just let it be what it is and not over analyze or read into it. 

that's the thing about me....i'm definitely an over analyzer. in fact, it's one of my best and worst qualities. i'm great at problem solving but not so great at not reading into things. even little things. like a text with a smiley face or without. or whether or not i should actually add one. ha. sounds ridiculous--i know. as i'm typing it, i feel a bit ridiculous.

either way, i'm planning on london and i'm excited about it. i think i'll be traveling by myself which will be odd for me since i always try to take someone along but i also think that i need a little time to myself to discover and explore. london has been on my bucket list, along with so many others.....but i've been missing europe since i left it about a year and a half ago so i do believe it's time to go back. 

i'm going to aspen in september to shoot a wedding. i was supposed to go next year but they moved it up so i'm, instead, going to use the time i planned to be there to go to london. i'm stuck between realllllly wanting to go for new years and going more toward april like i planned. anything after may would be hard because of my schedule and the amount of weddings booked for next year already. soooooooo, that being said, i'm entirely unsure when to go and i'm still waiting on availability and pricing. i guess we will see but i'm pretty determined to start knocking out this bucket list of mine. 

that's the thing about life....until you realize that it really is SHORT, you'll be spending it planning for someday instead of today. i've even been one of those people at different times in my life.....but i've been more acutely aware of how short it is recently. 3 families in the last 4 weeks with the mom or dad battling incurable cancer. my heart pulled in so many directions and i realized that when someone shows you how short life is, you must take notes....even 85 years may not be enough time to do everything i want to do. so it's time to stop planning on someday and start doing. because i have one shot at this life....and i'm not going to waste any more time. 

it makes me wonder how many people feel like they wasted time. maybe in a bad relationship or stuck at a job they hate. we all know you can't those moments back.....so you better make the most of what you've got, right? we all say it but how many of us actually DO it. sending that letter based on my gut was the most terrifying thing in the world....and while i have no idea if it was received, i only live once and i needed to be brave enough to send it. 

i have no idea what God intends for this one life of mine but i'm trusting that it's something great....which is hard....but necessary. 

and now i'm off to shoot another wedding. my second for the weekend. i'm tired. i need a vacation. and the light at the end of the tunnel is near :)