.Drive.

When you dream, dream big....as big as the ocean blue. One of my favorite songs....because it was Chris' favorite first and since his passing, I have listened to the words with more intent than I do most any other song. Music has been my retreat many times when I just don't know what to do or what turn to take next. We all need something that grounds us. I listen to music and I drive. Yep, that's right.....I drive those country roads, much like I did when I was in high school and that boy just didn't like me back or I had to get away from my over-bearing parents--who really weren't that over-bearing, but give me a break, it was high school or the best friends I always thought I had turned out not to be my best friends....at all. So I drove....turned the volume up....and got lost in the scenery, in the words blaring at me, and in myself....and it always helped. I do that now, even at the age of 25, and it still grounds me....keeps me from internalizing everything and somehow always sets me back on my way in a better mood with a bit more insight. 

Most people tell me it's a waste of gas and money and that I'm only damaging the environment and as much as I appreciate everyone's concerns, there is something to be said for making my own environment healthy, happy, and safe. When I drive, I make new dreams.....think about what to add to my bucket list....I make a game plan on how I intend to cross every one of them off....and I sing--at the top of my lungs, as if I am a sold-out Celine Dion show. I only admit that to you, my faithful readers, because we all know I am no Celine....but ahh, in my car, I sure can try. 

Then I pull into my driveway, put the car in park, get myself back together and leave my oasis and wait for the time when I will do it again. Lately it has been often. Lots of things have happened, gone wrong, and stressed me out. My oasis has been necessary. Sometimes it's the only place I don't worry about anything else. Just me and the road and that is usually enough to bring me back home.....down to the ground....where I feel the deep breaths come out of me and I know that it might be rough right now....but it can't be like this forever.