unplugged.

300+ miles. 6 photo shoots. 1 pontoon ride. 2 speed boat rides. 2 sleeps in a cottage. 1 game of cards against humanity. 1 game of catchguesstures. 2 nights of acoustic guitar. hours of laughter. zero sunshine. little rain. and my best friends all under one roof.

this is the first weekend in too long where i turned off my phone and truly disconnected myself from anything outside my three foot bubble. i didn't miss it. at all. it would go off and i'd ignore it. or i'd leave it by my bed and not even think about it. the only thing i used it for was to take pictures....and it got me thinking. how much time have i spent being connected to a 4 inch rectangle. when i was up north i wasn't thinking about facebook or my email or the dozens of different sounds it's been programmed to make so i knew which was of importance every time i hear something go off. i love the connection that it brings me to others but i also love how nice it was to not have any service and not have to be in control of every single part of my life.

it forced me to disconnect from my email and messages for my business along with checking over resume attachments for the clinic. i didn't touch my computer once. i have a giant pile of work but i allowed myself to breathe....i lived a little. and i was present. granted, it's much easier to do this when most of your favorite people are just a few rooms from you but it was so fantastic to slow down. i never allow myself the ability to do that. it's either guilt about all of the work on my desk, feeling like i need to do more and this unrealistic desire to DO EVERYTHING. ridiculous. i need to find a way to do it more and feel okay about doing it....because it's good for me.

i also had the opportunity to have one amazing conversation. one of my friends is like my brother. he and i have been through so much together....and last night we snuggled up and talked about so many things that are so very close to my heart. i haven't had one of those in too long. he reminded me of all of the things i know so well...but he does it in this genuine and loving way that only few people really know how to do....especially to get straight to this heart. he remembered with me...cried with me...and made me feel like everything i'm feeling is absolutely okay. he held me and i felt like my entire world was okay. everyone needs a friend like that. someone to help your world stop and allow you a soft space to land. the timing was perfect. as was his phone call tonight just to tell me he loves me.

it's truly amazing what roles people have in your life. i have different friends for so many different reasons. some make me laugh. some bring me comfort. every one of them brings me joy. it is rare to have so many beautiful people in my life. i know this. i see others who have nothing close...in fact, i know that each of my closest friends would be here in a heartbeat. right here. they'd rally around me and they'd hold me up until i could do it on my own. you know how i know this? because they've done it for me countless times. sometimes minor, sometimes tragic and sometimes over the most ridiculous things.

and now, i am soaking in the quiet that is my house. it feels a bit empty when i'm not surrounded by 6-14 others who fill my heart in so many different ways....but i am reminded that these weekends don't happen very often. people don't love like we do and i am beyond grateful to be loved by all of them. i am so sad it's over....yet so thankful for a weekend on a lake where we celebrated each other and our beautiful lives.