life through statuses.

i haven't forgotten it.
the moment when someone i love so fiercely told me she couldn't get past her own stuff to celebrate or get me through mine.
i remember feeling hurt.
defeated.
and like i had no idea where the person who used to be my mirror was.

people change.

and they grow apart.

when you're not careful and you're not cultivating relationships, your birthday, your anniversary, your hardest moments, your hard anniversaries, your stress, your business, your life (and theirs), gets pushed lower and lower on the priority list and before you know it, they're missing all of the above.

so here i am, soaking in facebook statuses of a woman i once called my best friend.

and wondering where the shift happened but knowing there is no way to turn back.

so i have to go forward....find strength in the people who make an effort to be here and genuinely want to take part in this ride with me....

i am certain that it's hard. and some days, i am not easy to love.

but i am fiercely loyal. and i love deeply. harder than most. wider than a select few. and i promise that my heart is the best part about me.

i'm clinging to that tonight. and choosing to let go. friendship shouldn't be hard. in fact, it should be the best and easiest thing in the world.....and, if it isn't, then surely it's time to move on....at least, for this heart.