the wedding circuit.

i have always wanted to write a book. when i was in middle and high school, i had high hopes of being a writer, having my own column and letting my love affair with words be my sole (and soul) purpose. as i grew up, i realized that getting your own column is hard. so is having a lot of different material to work on. but i have not let go of the fact that i've wanted to write. i've used this blog to get out thoughts, feelings, etc and have, recently, thought hard about finding time to make/write a book.

you see, i'm in the wedding business. a photographer to be exact. let me set the stage. i was 24, newly married and also newly widowed, when i decided that i needed a giant distraction from the widowed part. what better way to honor my loss than to freeze time for others...something i didn't do nearly enough of in the short time i had with my husband. it made sense. so. january 4th, 2010 i applied for my business license and the rest is kind of history. i spent the better part of 2 years being a photographer who had an eye but sucked at editing unless it was black and white. anyone can pull off a black and white. yep. that was me. in those two years, people didn't think i was that bad and somehow i built a beautiful client base. many of them are still clients and i've had the beautiful opportunity to show them i now know how to edit and see their babies grow.

i was approached to do my first wedding and had absolutely no idea what to charge, how much time i was investing and, even more, just what a crazy ride i was in for. one wedding lead to two and now i have successfully shot 52 weddings. some destination, some more local and some complete chaotic messes. in those 52 saturdays (and sometimes fridays) i've come to know dj's, cake makers, photo booth experts, banquet managers, florists, designers and pinterest gurus as if we were good and close friends. recently, i photographed a wedding and said hey to the dj, chit chatted and caught up, and went to find my seat. while on my way there, my friend asked me how long i've known him. i told her not long, we just know each other through the wedding circuit. after saying it, she gave me a funny look and i explained that we are all a very different kind of people. we're magic makers. we get paid to bring out the best in these people and their guests. we are not just photographers or dj's or banquet hall managers. we are therapists, comforters, boutonniere pinners, kleenex fetchers, family-that-you-really-don't-love-distractors, comedians, veil straighteners, bobby pin experts and your everything person.

i can tell you that i've taken amazing photos. i can also tell you that i've talked brides off a ledge, sat with them, cried with them, and loved them as if they were my own sister. i've watched them cry over forgotten flowers, dresses gone bad, spilled drinks on their dress and a slew of other trivial things. i've held them, helped them to see the bigger picture and created moments for them that, after all of the dancing is over and the food is gone, will last a life time. it's truly the most challenging and rewarding position to be in.

any photographer will tell you there is so much pressure behind a wedding. these people trust you more than most of the people they've hired. bad food? most people won't notice too much. lame dj? if you've had enough to drink, anything is fun. bad photos? you can't fix that....at all. it's why i take so much care in each photo....why my lenses and gear has been chosen specifically...why every photographer is different...and why some people have magnificent photos and some do not. you have to hire someone who can be your everything person and still give you the experience and quality that you expect and need. for me, i am always saying that i need today to be my best wedding. for them. i wake up and turn on my wedding play list...get my heart in the right zone and hope for the best.

along the way, though, there have been so many stories and moments that have pushed me to really start putting my love affair with words into a concrete form. so, here it is, my declaration that i'm working on it. i'm about 20 pages in. and it's rough. but it's a start....and really, that's what most dreams are. a start.

as for now, i've got to get ready for another wedding....because today is going to be my best one.