I reached. I tried. You didn't reach back. I can't make you....I don't want to force you. Either you want to or you don't. It's pretty simple, really. I'm not going to make it bigger than it is...you were there and you're not now...and somehow, I'm okay with it. I'm okay because I tried. I gave it all I could. I sent out a handful of flares hoping you would see one in the air, but you didn't....and I knew you wouldn't....and here we are.
It's funny, I thought it would hurt more....I thought your silence was better than walking away...turns out, walking away is better. I don't know why I thought your avoidance was easier--maybe that we'd run into people we both know and still talk about each other using the word "friend" but the hard truth is, we haven't been for a while. You kept me around because you needed me and now you don't and here I am...shutting the door and doing so without any regrets.
The other part that gets me is that I thought we wouldn't get to this point....I thought we were adult enough to deal with it....talk about it...and be better for it.....but the worst part is that I don't even know what "it" is. You pulled away, I watched it happen, blamed it on a thousand excuses like you're busy, you've got a lot of irons in the fire, you just don't have the time but the hardest truth of all is knowing that if I mattered enough you would make the time. It would be hard but you'd prioritize. You'd walk out of the little bubble you live in and you'd want to know what goes on in mine....even for five minutes....but you haven't and I truly hope you are happy. I hope your bubble can sustain you for the rest of your life. I hope you don't need me. I hope you won't miss me. I hope I'll just be a part of your past.....because you pushed away and I didn't pull back.
It's simple really. All comes down to science. You pushed, I stopped pulling. I'll miss you....but reprioritizing is necessary. Always.
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