.Quality.

Talking is hard sometimes. I mean, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but you must, at times, let them know how you feel....and hope, that, if they're your friends they understand where you're coming from or they will try to understand. Sometimes, it doesn't go that way. Other times it goes better than planned...and sometimes, you just don't know how it went. Sometimes it's enough to just hope that you get through to the other person, even if it doesn't always make sense or seem right. 

That was my pep talk for myself. I feel it's time to address these very things with a friend or two of mine. It's funny, we don't know what we've got until it's gone and I'm pretty close to walking away. This isn't to say that they will miss me, but I know I will miss them and wonder what is going on in their lives and as much as I want to be there for them, I might not be and that is well, scary.....but sometimes you've gotta do what you've gotta do. I always consider what I would tell one of my own friends in this very same situation....and then I try to take my own advice...you know, lead by example....except, example can sometimes be the hardest part. I don't want to be that person that puts it all out there because maybe, instead, they will walk away from me. Maybe I will be the one that loses. You never know how it will go....uncharted territory. Scary.....but I have faith that sometimes we do what is necessary, and that isn't always necessarily what is easiest. I sure could keep treading water and not get anywhere and sit in this spot with these friends who don't care enough to dig deep with me....and sure I'd have enough friends to invite to a cookout once or twice a year....but it's quality that I need, not quantity.

I'm not quite sure when the right time will be...if there ever even is a right time to have these blunt, honest conversations. I'm hopeful that it will just happen and before I know it will be over and we can see where we go from here. I believe God brings people into our lives at different times for different reasons...I'm not always sure of what they are but I hope that maybe we can get back on the same path and if we can't, then I am hopeful that I can be thankful...for the time we had and the things they have taught me....and mostly, for the love that they gave me.