.Off The Hook.

Forgiveness is a powerful thing....forgiveness of self is even more powerful. I've been thinking a lot about that lately....letting myself off the hook for the things I could have probably handled a little differently and didn't....but can't change now. 

We surely are our own worst critics....we judge ourselves on how we look....how many abbreviations follow our name....how many zeroes are on our tax returns....how many friends we have on facebook....how big and fancy our car is....and how many square feet our house is. Rarely do we judge ourselves based on the random acts of kindness we have done....the depth of our prayers....the times we have been there when we were needed the most...the number of people we have helped....the countless hours we put into our full-time jobs and even more, the hours we put in when we come home and take care of everyone else. 

Don't get me wrong it is good to want more and to strive for better....to want our dreams to come true....but how long will we spend hanging our hats on our shortcomings? I used to think it was just me who always held myself accountable for all the things I haven't done but....on the other hand, I sure have done a whole lot with my life....and I'm a good person....there isn't a single abbreviation I could put after my name more important than that. 

Maybe today is the day I let myself off the hook....forgive myself for all the things I wish I could have been and accept that who I am is nothing less than any of those other big dreams I had once imagined....my life just truly went in a different direction and when people ask me, I always tell them I would do it all over again. I wouldn't say that if I didn't believe it. Maybe today is the day I stop holding myself to the unattainable and embrace the person I have become....because, while this journey has been long already....I have become a strong, faithful, loving, compassionate, caring, giving woman...and there isn't a single thing that could trump any of the above on the shortcoming list....not a house, a clothing size, a salary, any amount of friends on facebook, or any kind of brand name car. 

So, tonight is the night I forgive myself....let myself off the hook....and love every single bit of who I've become. She's pretty amazing....you might want to know her :)