.Fishing.

I am reminded daily of how short life is...I am, though, not always aware of how much I take things and people for granted. I have always believed that if you know where your heart is you're okay...good, even. But in the midst of a busy life, I have often lost track of it--priorities, passions, dreams, relationships, things, and...unfortunately...people. I try so hard, but I am human and often find myself trying just to stay above water...for example, I should be editing photos right now...but my heart is important and for now, this is where it needs to be.

I am amazed at the many gifts I have received, even among great loss and sorrow I have been fortunate enough to have such blessings. Just yesterday I noticed a bracelet and it read "strength"...it was for breast cancer awareness...but I considered the word for a few moments...and I felt this overwhelming sense of ownership to that word...being strong is so many things. It's the simple act of getting out of bed when you just don't want to or answering that phone call every single time someone calls--no matter how many times--so that, at times, you can be strong for them...it's knowing today might not be your best day but tomorrow has got to be better...it's putting on a brave face when you want to fall apart...it's knowing you've given everything and done more than you can when you feel like you have nothing left. Being strong is in the little things as much as it is in the big things....it's in a sincere apology....it's letting go of the past and the hurts that haunt you--of which, I have many....it's knowing that your heart is healing, even when we don't fully understand it.

I am convinced that we don't always see things the way we should...that our hearts get cold and tired and we forget to count the moments. I know better than most how quickly those moments can be taken away...and it is my greatest hope that we will learn to soak them up...so completely that our hearts may never become dry and bitter....but I know that we will, and that sometimes we will act out of impulse and anger instead of love...but I am learning to be more completely forgiving. I say completely knowing that I will let the past be the past...and I will actually move on, turn the corner, and let it be....to let love be bigger than me. 

Speaking of moments..I was on a photo shoot this morning and noticed the frisbee golf hole at Silver Creek Park where I tried so hard to "participate" in one of Chris' favorite hobbies and flung my frisbee in the creek where he lovingly fished it out and promised me he'd always go fishing for those discs as long as I always tried my best....and here I am, still trying, knowing that somewhere in that great big sky my Anyway Person is still fishing out my discs and setting me back on my feet when I find myself staring at the ground. 

For today, I am reminded of how grateful I am for the people who are in my life...for the moments I wouldn't trade for anything...for memories...for tears and laughter...and for knowing just where my heart is.