I have considered that life is not always fair and that the answers to big questions--any questions--do not come printed on the back of the test. Trial and error....that is mostly key...and a whole lot of praying, wondering, dreaming, and hoping.
As of late I have truly considered my physical address. Sure, things are mostly good...and, from the outside looking in you might wonder why I am searching....and really, so am I to be entirely honest. They say you shouldn't leave until you know where you want to go...and, if we're being completely honest, it's just a feeling I'm going off of. Something just feels "off." It's not a normal, typical funk....it's not even a bad feeling...just that something isn't quite right. I am a bit confused myself--mostly because I am in the peak of my business booming, my job is finally rearranging itself back to a place of contentment and my friends and family are awesome. I have considered that the change needs to be more internal than anything else....but my internal meter keeps telling me that it is where I am, in this moment, that is not where it wants to be....yet, I am entirely uncertain of where I WANT to be. Perhaps that is the perk of coming back from vacation...it is far easier to consider the life you had for the last 5 days than to actually put into action a gigantic move, a new job, new surroundings, and a million other details that would easily take stress to a whole different level....but still, it hovers in my mind and I find myself wondering why not do it now...while I can still turn back when I have the chance....but change is hard and thinking of doing it and actually doing it are two very different things.
I want to spend the next few weeks deciding where it is that I need to be...whether that is right here, down the block, or somewhere totally different. I feel like I'm really on a quest to finding my whole heart instead of bits and pieces of just making it work....the bits and pieces are nice, but they aren't enough.
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