.Bravery.

sometimes it takes everything in you to put on a brave face....just to get you through the day...and believe me, there are days when it would be so much easier to just shut out the world...and, on those days, i remind myself that if i can get through today, i can get through tomorrow. your heart and emotions will push you...and it is a true gift when you can push back with more courage than you thought you had left.

there is a quiet beauty when you can see and feel your courage and strength working together. yesterday, i had cpr recertification. i had to do it. my job requires it. no way around this one. and there i sat, listening to what to do with an unconscious person and how to react and check the scene and what you should tell 911 and it was like i was there, reliving the worst day of my life again...and yep-i wanted to crawl in a hole and yep, i wondered why i couldn't have done more...or if my reaction was appropriate in that situation-did i do it right and while all of this is running through my head-i had to stay brave enough to get through it...and, soon enough, it was over...and all the tears were dry and while it is difficult to find peace in moments like that...somehow you do--at least enough to tell yourself "that was good enough."

there are people you meet that have been through far worse than you have and it puts much in perspective. it changes you. it makes you thankful for what you have left and for what you had to begin with.

you see, there are moments like those that you can't avoid-they come unexpectedly and they challenge your heart to be grateful for your own bravery and courage. i have more hope in my heart than most people and true faith that there will be a beautiful rainbow after this storm. when it will end, i will never know...but i have faith that it will and when it does...i pray the sun is blinding.