.Shedding Skin.

One day at a time....that's how I still take it. One day, one step....one minute...one hour. I think it's just part of life. I'm finding myself wondering what direction I'm heading in, especially with the new year upon us. I am completely unsure of it all. I knew that these days would come--the ones where I begin to wonder what the heck I'm doing and where in the world I'm being lead. So, here they are....the ones I've been waiting for, yet still wasn't entirely prepared for.

I've been realizing that there is more "stuff" for me to sift through and let go of. Things that will require time, patience, and a lot of love....but it is necessary to shed some skin in order to keep moving forward. I have an entire rec room full of things that need to put away or stored or given to Chris' favorite people.....and a car that I think it is time to sell. Believe me, these are the hardest parts. I go back and forth with myself all the time on whether or not it's a good idea or decision but sometimes you've got to go with your heart and my heart is nudging me in a direction that is scary, uncertain, and unsure....it sure is challenging me. I'm not sure what terrain I am on....hills, peaks, valleys, winding, or finally back to the seemingly straight road. I just know that to be sure of where I am going, I must fully accept where I have been and doing that requires tying up some loose ends. 

I am not so good at the letting go part....often, I find I've held on for far too long to things I should have let go of a long time ago but that's part of the forgiving I think. Forgiving of self and others. No one is perfect and I won't ever claim to be and I make mistakes....all of the time....but I try. Some people don't think I try hard enough and some will only point out my flaws but I'm learning to accept that for what it is. Only I know my true heart and only I can know what is best for me at this point in my life....and really, isn't that all anyone can ask for? Your best that sometimes turns into your worst....but the best effort you can give. 

I know letting go of these things is going to create a whole lot of judgment and opinion....but I'm learning to let go of them....to appreciate what it is that is left and to go forward with that....which, somedays doesn't feel like much, but is much more than others have. To find the peace and blessings among everything else. You know, to accept where I've been and hope for where I'm going.