consideration.

consideration.
it's one of those things.
you have it or you don't....
you get it or you don't.....
and, if you don't, then you're consistently wondering why you're not deserving of it. or if you're the problem.

and then self doubt creeps in.
way in.

and you question your abilities.
something you've never done before....you've never questioned them. you have always believed you're genuinely good at what you do. but all of a sudden you're not so sure.

and then you wonder if you're moving the right direction.
if you're actually in the right space and place.
you question everything you're doing. are you the crazy one? is it possible that you haven't changed one bit but everything around you is changing....
and everyone.

so you hold on like hell...to anything that remotely resembles something good. and you cling like crazy to the things and people who don't let you down. patients. clients. family. friends. and you find that you're back at the beginning of a funk.

there isn't a manual for me.
include me in your day.
in your life.
let your actions be louder.
tell me something funny.
give me some kind of indicator that you know i exist.
and that you're glad i was born and am still breathing.

that's it.

it's not much.
i don't need help.
i need a cheerleader.
and a pep talk.
and a reminder.

because sometimes you feel like you're unimportant.
and you don't matter.

and then you start to believe it.